nangyare sakin ung nangyare kay Tan. naloko ako. di ko alam kung sinasadya niya o biglaan lang. sabi ko na nga ba eh. ganito kahihinatnan. yesterday kase, i asked her out. she said no because marami daw projects and everything. so i was okay with that. out of curiosity i asked her if she wasn’t busy, would she go out with me? she said, of course yes! i don’t know if she meant it. earlier today, i went to SB to get some coffee. i saw her with her friends. i knew it! i knew that this would happen, that this would be inevitable. i knew from the start that this would lead to nothing. now, i don’t know if i should stop and give up this hopeless romance of mine or continue this unending hopeless path.
this week has been the most heart pounding, breath taking, mind draining week so far. want to know why? it’s beacuse of a girl. the main reason of my happiness and misery. (wala ako kwenta. drama.) this girl used to be a nobody to me. i didn’t know her but she knew me. i didn’t even know that she exist until we were in 3rd year. since then i became curious when it comes to her, intrigued with her life. then because of CLRAA, i started to know her better. during our stay in zambales, i was a little tensed because i was gonna be with her. so i grabbed the opportunity to be friends with her. i had some trouble at first because of my nervousness. i had ideas, statements planned of what i’m gonna say but the nerve sunk in first so everytime that i try, i always get tongue tied. (again, loser.) during our stay there, there were a lot of guys trying to get her name, attention and number. i can’t blame her, she’s really pretty indeed. then my teacher said, “siya na ang heartthrob.” i replied, “kahit sino naman mahehead over heels sakanya.” i meant what i said, because of what i’m feeling, i’m really caught. i can’t even explain her smile, her eyes, the way she sleeps. she’s just too good for me. then, all of a sudden, i became intrested in chess, a game that she excels in and a game that i suck at :D so, i challenged her for the sake of spending time with her and at the same time to have fun and to learn :) while playing, we were singing one thing “something’s gotta give you now, ‘cause i’m dying just to make you see that i need you here with me now, ‘cause you’ve got that one thing.” hahaha of course she defeated me everytime. we finished playing at 12 midnight, tired but had a great time :) so now i’m here in tarlac. went home without a word, afraid of goodbyes and full of regrets. i’m back to reality. i’ll forever cherish this week as it also haunts me.
i scanned my dashboard to see what i’ve missed since the last time i opened my tumblr and ugh! i’ll never understand fashion. as long as i have a shirt, a pair of shorts and some really nice shoes that i like, i’m good :)
finally, i can now say that i’m getting over that person. i saw what she truly is. pero may small bit of problem. kapag wala siya hinahanap ko siya, namimiss ko. atleast, nawawala na ung feeling big time. thank you lord! thanks zeus! hahaha :)) o kwento muna. may ginawa akong list namin magkakaibigan. the guys and their partner. weirdo ko :D wala lang magawa, nagmumunimuni. ahh! nevermind! o edi un. si ron may J. si fab may L. si dec may C. si vince may M. latest, si djay may C. ang blank nalang un samin ni fred. sakanya blank, kelangan lang i-fill. sakin nilagyan ko ng question mark, it means that that person may or may not come. i’m so dramatic huh? hahaha :D anyways, i lost hope na nga kaya carry nalang :) CL, nagpaseatwork si ms.o, ‘bout the retreat connected sa topics na tatake for this quarter. nag-eenjoy ako kapag CL. nalalabas ko ung thoughts ko, kahit against man yan sa church or hindi. kahit masama man yan, wala ako pakeelam. ms.o understands me. alam niya kung pano tumakbo utak ko :) nakakatuwa naman.
-dagdag ko lang :)) “last christmas i gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. this year to save me from tears, i’ll give it to someone special.”
